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| Transitioning can be really difficult. Sometimes the hardest step is literally figuring out what you have to do. No worries, I can help you with that and more! - Image Credit: Me |
If you're like me, you've may have had trouble beginning your transition. "Where should I start? What should I do? How can I pass better?"
The questions are endless, the confusion very apparent, and the side effects rather problematic at best and life-threatening at worst. Fear not, I'll spill the tea to all of this.
1. Start Considering Medical Options
Transitioning for many oftentimes means hitting up the hormones, surgery, or both. Not everyone needs to medically transition, however, for many, it's a necessity that is crucial in helping to relieve the pain that is gender dysphoria and to pass without people noticing that you're trans.
It's imperative that if you go the route of medical transitioning that you make sure to avoid DIY methods unless it's ABSOLUTELY necessary. DIY hormones such as those from online retailers and not through an approved endocrinologist (the people that specialize in hormones) can be risky and possibly deadly. Without the proper treatment, monitoring, etc., you can have issues such as blood clotting that can prove fatal.
Only go this route if you're in a situation where only through DIY methods that you can start medically transitioning. Examples of this could include financial difficulties, issues with family, and any type of obstacle/restrictions such as age constraints or entire bans/outlawing of it in your country, state, etc.
The sooner you can start, the better the effects are. If you can manage to start before your puberty, then the process will be more effective. If you start way after your body is done developing, then the effects will be limited and you may have to lower your expectations.
As far as surgery is concerned, there a handful of procedures that you can have done. Sex reassignment surgery, gender confirmation surgery, bottom surgery; whatever you want to call it is typically the most common. Other procedures to consider include feminizing facial surgery, a trachea shave, and BBL.
Really any surgery that makes you feel more comfortable with yourself can be taken into consideration. If you do plan on going through any surgery, you should do it some years after hormones.
The process usually begins with hormones for a given number of years, e.g. 1-3 before surgery. For instance, you wouldn't want to have FFS surgery if the hormones may redistribute the fat on your face enough to the point where you feel satisfied with it. Whatever you do, make sure to have the best providers possible and only use DIY as a last resort.
2. Change up Your Wardrobe
Heads up, this, like medical routes to transitioning, may not be important to you. You may be fine with your clothes. If you are, that's great! It saves you both time and money when it comes to shopping! On the other hand, if you desire to change it up, then it can be quite a mess getting situated.
Society has for hundreds of years dictated what is appropriate and not for people to wear. It's seen as unusual by society for a man to wear a dress, hence the term cross-dressing. Ditch the restraints and wear whatever you want to wear!
Passing, however, generally requires wearing the clothing of the gender you identify with (in the scenario of this post, a woman).
It can be daunting trying to redo what you've been wearing for years. What especially makes it challenging is that our bodies on average, do not match up with the standards of women's clothing. Measurements such as hips, waist, shoulders, etc. can become problematic. Hormones and surgery help to relieve these issues but are not always perfect.
Wear what you like and want. It's up to you to decide what style you like.
"THE REWARD FOR CONFIRMTY IS THAT EVERYONE LIKES YOU BUT YOURSELF."
- Rita Mae Brown
3. Practice Makeup
Like clothes, makeup can help you pass and feel more comfortable with yourself. Also like clothes, makeup can be really expensive.
When I first started entering the world of makeup, I was clueless and didn't know where to begin. Now some months into it and with an arsenal of products and a decent pool of information, I am starting to get the hang of it (somewhat).
The same tea that I discussed for clothes can apply to makeup as well. Through both, you can achieve fantastic results without getting involved with a single bit of hormones or surgery.
4. Tweak Your Mannerisms
Mannerism is something that I personally have not gotten into it (yet). What I mean by mannerism are things like how you walk, sit, hand movements and gestures, and even how you simply stand around.
You may or may not agree with me about there being a certain way that people walk and act. It's hard to explain and elaborate on but if you think about it, we habitually make guesses on the gender of people, even if it's through a silhouette or at a distant glance.
Your nonverbal body language can easily affect how others view you and can become a nuisance when it comes to passing. Start by observing and making notes on how other women walk and act. You'll probably pick up on the subtle details without even knowing it! With enough time, you can naturally develop the mannerisms through mimicry.
A factor like this should be a compliment to the other steps to transitioning. If you can't perfect it, no sweat; it's just a little extra of an oomph towards passing.
5. Work on Your Voice
Finally, possibly the most critical component to transitioning/passing (if you're like me) is to work on your voice.
No matter how beautiful you may be and how flawlessly you strut across a stage; all it takes is one mutter of air to leave your mouth to get misgendered or some funny looks directed towards you.
Like mannerism, we have that innate sense of assumption of what is feminine and masculine. We perceive higher-pitched voices to be more feminine for a reason. It's why boys raise their voices to unnaturally high levels when mocking girls.
Unfortunately, I'm not an expert in voice training. I do know someone who is though. I HIGHLY recommend TransVoiceLessons. Her content is honestly the best in the field. Here's her YouTube channel.
Ending Notes
If there's one thing that you should take home out of all of this, it should be this:
Do what you want.
It should always be what you're comfortable with doing, not to match the wants of others. You don't need to have surgery or hormones to be a woman. You don't need copious amounts of makeup or a wardrobe armed with the latest fashion trends.
Thanks for reading to the end. As always, if you've liked what you read, be sure to follow and subscribe if you haven't already. Sharing this post helps out as well, bonus if it's someone who could really benefit from for I got more coming in the future and it would be a shame to miss the tea.
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