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| It can feel impossible to love yourself when you're uncomfortable with your own body. Read more to see how you can work through these feelings (Image credit - myself) |
One of the hardest things about transitioning that I've come across is learning to love myself. How do I accept myself and stop having doubts (commonly referred to as trans doubt in the community) about being valid? Or how about being able to be ok and at peace with myself? There are so many problems and questions I ask myself every day and struggle to find answers with.
If you're experiencing similar thoughts, then what I talk about next will most certainly help clear up the fog and uncertainty that you may have.
Key Thoughts to Practice
Let's simply get right into some useful insights and tips that I use myself (with my own take and perspective on it):
1. Wondering Whether or Not You're Trans
In one of my earlier posts, I go on to talk about this in great detail alongside gender dysphoria in another.
TLDR: If you question your identity for a while, then you're probably trans. You also don't need to have gender dysphoria to be trans, although there are lots of similarities between the two.
For more information, check the links down below to those previous posts:
2. Feeling Like You Won't Pass
This one is a struggle that most of us face every day, even if we aren't interacting with others that may judge or perceive us in ways that we don't like. Most people view themselves in a negative/humble way, but when it comes to trying to pass and feel comfortable with how we are, it's not exactly the same.
Overcoming this doubt about yourself and your future means understanding that transitioning takes time and that no one is perfect. Cliche, yes, but so, so true. For instance, HRT doesn't happen overnight and usually takes years for the full effects to take shape.
Furthermore, it's unhealthy to constantly compare yourself to other people. This applies to everyone. In the case of me being a trans woman, it means comparing myself to cisgender women and other trans women that pass or look better than me. Jealousy is a poison to avoid if you want to keep your sanity intact.
It helps to realize that many cisgender women also get misgendered every now and then if they don't match the stereotypical descriptions that we place on people. As far as other trans women are concerned, it means knowing that they've gone through transitioning with the power of time at their hand. They were at a similar spot to where you were before in transitioning like how someone goes from an apprentice to a master in developing a certain skill, sport, etc.
3. Struggling to Move on in Life
The gender dysphoria that often goes alongside being trans can easily lead to other issues such as depression and anxiety that only further weigh down on you and possibly others. It can be an endless cycle in where you don't have the energy and motivation to work on transitioning while balancing everything else in life that in turn weighs you down even more. This feedback loop just constantly produces negativity that can morph into disorders and the like.
Overcoming these obstacles requires taking similar approaches to how you would with something like depression. It's a matter of boosting your self-esteem to start working on making your life how you see fit. Transitioning is not easy in the slightest bit and will test you and others in many ways.
When people say to not give up and keep trying, it's the same for transitioning as it is for depression. There really isn't anything else to it. It sucks. A lot. You just have to stay strong and manage it.
Making the Best of It
If you've come this far in the post, you may be either left feeling slightly more confident or fearing the future even more. It's ok to be the latter because that's how I felt when I first started transitioning.
One good way to look at it with a positive perception is that coming out and accepting who you are and working to do what you need to do is a huge feat in life that not many will ever accomplish, let alone even begin to think about. How many people get to say that they're going through a second puberty? Not many. Keep working at it as a gradual process/journey and you'll get closer and closer to where you want to be.
Did you like this post? Want to read more like this? Make sure to follow and subscribe to keep up to date on this blog. Sharing this will also help not only me but maybe perhaps someone else out there who could use the tea. Until next time, bye!
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